fuck if I know

1 files changed, 116 insertions, 61 deletions

diff --git a/files/useraliases b/files/useraliases
index 20f6514..a95df8b 100644
--- a/files/useraliases
+++ b/files/useraliases
@@ -1,70 +1,125 @@
-!alias !savealias !leetappend %~/files/useraliases 10 !alias %s
+!alias !savealias !leetappend %~/files/useraliases 10 !alias %%s
 !alias !reload !raw quit :reload
-!alias !addlink !leetappend /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/links.txt 10 %s (~%u)
-!alias !drop !say %u: Dropping shell right now, type exit when done.
-!alias !dig !c dig %s
+!alias !addlink !leetappend /var/www/sites/hacking/links.txt 10 %%s (~%%n)
+!alias !drop !say %%n: Dropping shell right now, type exit when done.
+!alias !dig !c dig %%s
 !alias !more !tailunlock %~/files/cmd_out
 !alias !ping !say pong
-!alias !ec !eval %~/scripts/evalcommand %s
-!alias !lambda !ec echo -ne 'SegFault: alias !tmp %s\n!tmp\n'
-!alias !pymath !c python -c 'import math;print(%s)'
+!alias !ec !eval %~/scripts/evalcommand %%s
+!alias !lambda !ec echo -ne 'SegFault: alias !tmp %%s\n!tmp\n'
+!alias !pymath !c python -c 'import math;print(%%s)'
 !alias !reset !kill 9 -1
 !alias !up !c uptime
-!alias !randip !c perl -le '$,=".";print map int rand 256,1..4;' %s
-!alias !jarg !c cat /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/docs/jarg447.txt | XuntilY "^:%s" "^:." | tail -r | tail -n+2 | tail -r
-!alias !jargcheck !c cat /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/docs/jarg447.txt | XuntilY "^:%s" "^:." | tail -r | tail -n+2 | tail -r | wc -l
-!alias !links !c grep "%s" /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/links.txt
-!alias !lambda !ec echo -ne '%m: alias !tmp %s\n!tmp\n'
-!alias !nlinks !links -c" "%s
-!alias !topic !rc echo "TOPIC %f :%s (set by %u at $(date -u "+%%b %%m %%R") UTC)"
-!alias !pty !c python -c 'import pty;pty.spawn("/usr/pkg/bin/bash")'
-!alias !you !rc if [ "%s" = "there" ] || [ "%s" = "there?" ]; then printf "PRIVMSG %f :\x01ACTION is totally here\x01\n"; else echo "PRIVMSG %f :no, you %s" | tr '?' '!'; fi
+!alias !randip !c perl -le '$,=".";print map int rand 256,1..4;' %%s
+!alias !jarg !c cat /service/gitd/jargon/jarg.txt | XuntilY "^:%%s" "^:." | tail -r | tail -n+2 | tail -r
+!alias !jargcheck !c cat /service/gitd/jargon/jarg.txt | XuntilY "^:%%s" "^:." | tail -r | tail -n+2 | tail -r | wc -l
+!alias !lambda !ec echo -ne '%%m: alias !tmp %%s\n!tmp\n'
+!alias !topic !rc echo "TOPIC %%f :%%s (set by %%n at $(date -u "+%%%%b %%%%m %%%%R") UTC)"
+!alias !pty !sh python -c 'import pty;pty.spawn("/usr/pkg/bin/bash")'
+!alias !you !rc if [ "%%s" = "there" ] || [ "%%s" = "there?" ]; then printf "PRIVMSG %%f :\x01ACTION is totally here\x01\n"; else echo "PRIVMSG %%f :no, you %%s" | tr '?' '!'; fi
 !alias !escape_sequences !c grep "//here" /root/services/segfault/segfault.c
-!alias !irc !eval %~/scripts/ircrawcommand %s
-!alias !ic !eval %~/scripts/irccommand %s
+!alias !irc !eval %~/scripts/ircrawcommand %%s
+!alias !ic !eval %~/scripts/irccommand %%s
 !alias !reeval !eval %~/files/useraliases
-!alias !addtodo !leetappend /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt 10 "%s"
-!alias !todo !c cat -n /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt | shuffle -f-| head -n1
-!alias !diddo !c sed '%sd' /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt > /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt_;cat /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt_ > /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt
-!alias !todos !c cat -n /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt
-!alias !ntodo !c wc -l /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt
-!alias !greptodo !c grep "%s" /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt
-!alias !myaddtodo !leetappend /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt 10 "%s"
-!alias !mytodo !c cat -n /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt | shuffle -f-| head -n1 2>/dev/null || echo "You've got nothing todo today, but smile."
-!alias !mydiddo !c sed '%sd' /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt > /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt_;cat /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt_ > /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt
-!alias !mytodos !c cat -n /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt 2>/dev/null || echo "You've got nothing to do today, but smile."
-!alias !myntodo !c wc -l /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt 2>/dev/null || echo "You've got nothing todo today, but smile."
-!alias !mygreptodo !c grep "%s" /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt 2>/dev/null || echo "You've got nothing todo today, but smile."
-!alias !mytodoadd !myaddtodo %s
-!alias !tell !c false
-!alias !ask !c false
-!alias !messages !c false
-!alias !help !say unknown command: !help. try !help
-!alias !mytododel !mydiddo %s
-!alias !mytodogrep !mygreptodo %s
-!alias !mygreptodo !c cat -n /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt 2>/dev/null | grep -i "%s" || echo "You've got nothing todo today, but smile."
-!alias !tmplink !c echo '<a href="%s">%s</a>' > /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/tmplink.html
-!alias !title !c wget -qO- %s | tr '>' '\n' | XuntilY "<title" "</title"| sed 's/<.*$//'
-!alias !tmplink !c echo '<meta http-equiv="refresh" content="0;url=%s">' > /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/tmplink.html
-!alias !links !c if [ "%s" ];then grep "%s" /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/links.txt;else echo http://hacking.allowed.org/links.txt;fi
-!alias !seen !c false
-!alias !mytodocount !myntodo
-!alias !rmuseralias !c rmln %s %~/files/useraliases
-!alias !useraliases !c cat -n %~/files/useraliases %s
-!alias !duplicateuseraliases !c cut '-d ' -f2 %~/files/useraliases | uniq -d
-!alias !grepuseraliases !useraliases | grep %s
-!alias !mytodo !c nr="%s"; test -z "$nr" && nr=1; cat -n /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo/%u.txt | shuffle -f-| head -n $nr 2>/dev/null || echo "You've got nothing todo today, but smile."
+
+######### the todo shit #########
+!alias !addtodo !leetappend /var/todo/%%n.txt 10 "%%s"
+!alias !todo.add !addtodo %%s
+
+!alias !todo !c cat -n /var/todo/%%n.txt | shuffle -f-| head -n1
+!alias !todo. !todo %%s
+
+!alias !diddo !c rmln %%s /var/todo/%%n.txt
+!alias !todo.rm !diddo %%s
+!alias !tododel !diddo %%s
+
+!alias !todos !c cat -n /var/todo/%%n.txt
+!alias !todo.list !todos
+
+!alias !ntodo !c wc -l /var/todo/%%n.txt
+!alias !todocount !ntodo
+!alias !todo.length !ntodo
+
+!alias !greptodo !c cat -n /var/todo/%%n.txt | grep -i "%s"
+!alias !todogrep !greptodo %%s
+!alias !todo.grep !greptodo %%s
+
+!alias !todo.claim !c ln /var/todo/%%s.txt /var/todo/%%n.txt 
+########## the end of that shit #########
+
+!alias !tmplink !c echo '<meta http-equiv="refresh" content="0;url=%%s">' > /var/www/sites/hacking/tmplink.html
+!alias !links !c if [ "%%s" ];then grep -i "%%s" /var/www/sites/hacking/links.txt;else echo http://$(rdns $(hop0 %%h))/cgi-bin/links.cgi;fi
+!alias !rmuseralias !c rmln %%s %~/files/useraliases
+!alias !useraliases !c cat -n %%~/files/useraliases %%s
+!alias !duplicateuseraliases !c cut '-d ' -f2 %%~/files/useraliases | uniq -d
+!alias !grepuseraliases !useraliases | grep %%s
 !alias !tits !say [  . | .  ]
-!alias !geo !c whob %s | egrep "^Country:|^City"
-!alias !dcc !rc echo -e "privmsg %u :\x01DCC SEND $(basename %s) `dcchelper %h` 12345 `wc -c "%s" | sed 's/ //g'`\x01";ncat -l -p 12345 < "%s"
-!alias !diddo rmln %s /var/www/hacking.allowed.org/todo.txt
-!alias !title !c wget --no-check-certificate -qO "%s" | tr '>' '\n' | XuntilY "<title" "</title"| sed 's/<.*$//'
-!alias !title !c wget --no-check-certificate -qO- "%s" | tr '>' '\n' | XuntilY "<title" "</title"| sed 's/<.*$//'
-!alias !suicide !kill -9 %p
-!alias !suicide !kill 9 %p
-!alias !pingout !kill 17 %p
+!alias !geo !c whob %%s | egrep "^Country:|^City"
+!alias !dcc !rc p=$[45000 + ($RANDOM % 20000)];echo -e "privmsg %%n :\x01DCC SEND $(basename %%s) $(dcchelper $(gethostbyname %%h)) $p `wc -c "%%s"|tr -s ' '|cut '-d ' -f2`\x01";ncat -l -p $p < "%%s"
+!alias !title !c wget --no-check-certificate -qO- "%%s" | tr '>' '\n' | XuntilY "<title" "</title"| sed 's/<.*$//'
+!alias !suicide !kill 9 %%p
+!alias !pingout !kill 17 %%p
 !alias !built-ins !c grep strncmp /root/services/segfault/segfault.c | grep '"' | grep msg | tail -n+1 | cut '-d"' -f2 | tr '\n' ' ' | tr -s ' '
-!alias !help !say !builtins !aliases
-!alias !help !say  !builtins !aliases
-!alias !cinit !leettail 56%~/files/cmd_out
-!alias !cat !leettail 28%s
+!alias !help !say try: !builtins and !aliases
+!alias !cinit !leettail 56%%~/files/cmd_out
+!alias !cat !leettail 28%%s
+!alias !^C !c 
+!alias !pid !say %%p
+!alias !cloudflare !say cloudflare == cloudlog || cloudsniff || cloudinject
+!alias !twit !c TTYtter -keyf=/home/segfault/.ttytterkey
+!alias !fact _
+!alias !fact-set _
+!alias !fact-update _
+!alias !fact _
+!alias !fact-set _
+!alias !fact-update _
+!alias !help1 !say %%%%host %%h %%%%user %%u %%%%from %%f %%%%nick %%n
+!alias !addtarget !leetappend /home/segfault/files/targets 10 %%s
+!alias !seen !say .seen %s
+!alias !modehelp !c grep "^  %s" /usr/local/src/ngircd-21.1/doc/Modes.txt
+!alias !F !pymath (%s)*(9.0/5.0)+32
+!alias !C !pymath (%s-32)*(5.0/9.0)
+!alias !todo.link !say http://hacking.allowed.org/todo/%n.txt
+!alias !howtome !c hop0 %h
+!alias !twit !leetappend /home/segfault/files/twit_in 10 %%s
+!alias !perl !c perl -e '%%s'
+!alias !twit.follow !leetappend /home/segfault/files/twit_in 10 /follow %%s
+!alias !hardreset !eval /home/segfault/scripts/hardreset
+!alias !C2F !pymath %%s * 9 / 5 + 32
+!alias !F2C !pymath (%%s - 32) * 5 / 9
+!alias !unbantor !c /home/mkz/ban_tor nevermind
+!alias !bantor !c /home/mkz/ban_tor I am sure
+!alias !subseg !eval /home/segfault/scripts/subseg %%s
+!alias !isup !c wget -q 'http://www.downforeveryoneorjustme.com/%s' -O- | grep "just you" | cut '-d<' -f1
+!alias !todo.who !c ls -i /var/todo | sort | /home/epoch/list_todo
+!alias !todo.gopher !c echo "gopher://$(rdns $(hop0 %h))/1/todo/%n.txt"
+!alias !r !leetappend /service/segfault-link/a/files/log 10 %%s
+!alias !untail !leetuntail %%f %%s
+!alias !tpb !c tpb.sh %%s
+!alias !randip !c whob $(dig -p 5353 whotoscan +short) | egrep "^IP:|^Country:"
+!alias !ipgamescore !c cat /var/www/sites/hacking/iplog.txt |sort | uniq | grep -c ' user=%%s$'
+!alias !quit !hardreset
+!alias !stop !hardreset
+!alias !wtf !c /usr/games/wtf %%s
+!alias !stealnick !ec printf '!raw kill %%s :my nick\n!nick %%s\n'
+!alias !killme !raw kill %%n :%%s
+!alias !demorse !c echo '%%s' | /usr/games/morse -d
+!alias !enmorse !c /usr/games/morse -s '%%s' | tr '\n' ' '
+!alias !sayp !c lua /home/segfault/scripts/cowsay.lua %%s
+!alias !fuckme !raw kick %%f %%n :fuck you
+!alias !todo.n !todo.grep ^ *%%s`printf "\t"`
+!alias !areacode !c grep '^%%s' /usr/local/share/misc/areacodes || echo nothing found
+!alias !myip !c wget -qO- http://blackcatz.org/ip
+!alias !tailpipe 24%%s
+!alias !fuck !raw kill %%n :no. you can fuck %%s
+!alias !op !raw kill %n :what are you? dumb? did you not see that +o I gave you when you joined!?!?
+!alias !finger !c finger %%s
+!alias !dig !dig +short %%s
+!alias !dig !c dig +short %%s
+!alias !link.add !addlink %%s
+!alias !draw !c echo %%s | turn2line | lineplot | grep "[^ ]"
+!alias !todo.get !c head -n %%s /var/todo/%%n.txt | tail -n1
+!alias !polls !c head -n1 /var/polls/*/question
+!alias !poll !c cat /var/polls/%%s/question
+!alias !results !c cat /var/polls/%%s/votes | awk -F: '{print $2, $1}' | clump
+!alias !vote !c /var/polls/vote %%n %%s